definitely wandering

I'm not even entirely sure what to say...okay. maybe if I think of it this way. there are two sides of "how is college."

The first and most typical answer is "Crazy! Insane! I can't believe how much my life has changed in one month!" This is the physical answer to the question. It's crazy and insane because I've never felt so busy. I drive 30 minutes to school and like 20 back. thats cuz of traffic, if youre really curious. It's insane because I can't believe how much stuff I get to do that i LOVE. I have never been so surrounded music as I am now. and I don't feel too nerdy yet. so that's a plus i think. I have never met such a diverse group of people from such different backgrounds. I've never felt so free to do what I want to do. but i also feel that way mentally....i have never felt so free to think what i want to think.

the second answer is that my mind feels like its being surrounded from all sides, and I feel like I don't even know who I am. I thought I knew, after so many years behind me...but that's what God does, dumps you upside down and asks you if you really know what you're talking about...

i don't think i know...

It's not that I miss the past and the security I had before, or dislike what's happening to me now. More like I am struggling to know how God wants me to grow up. and geez, growing up is tough!

there is so much I could say and expound upon but that's the general overview. it's hard to sum up how many feelings i've had in a little over a month haha. I know God is here and in my weakness I am made strong...yeah definitely praying for strength! and thanking him for challenge.