helping.

There are a lot of people in this world...and a lot of them that you think you know pretty well. And they're just there...in your life...some you think of often, some you think of scarcely. There are people who you think are real but in truth are very fake. There are people that you feel sorry for. There are people that make you think twice about philosophy and theology with the way they think and the way they speak. There are people who gogogo and never stop...headstrong folk. :) There are also people who inspire you. No, not those historical figures who make you want to do something huge in your life...thats not what i mean. I mean the people around you...EVERYDAY people, that you look at and think wow. What a beautiful person.

i look backwards when it comes to people. I assume front of the line position. i don't usually think of myself as the lesser. obviously this is a bad thing. I befriend those who are easy to tuck under my wing...I look for people who i would like to think i can "help". Rarely do I think of myself as the one who needs to be helped. I am attempting to change this.

I HAVE SO MANY PROBLEMS. Why don't I see this very often. God sees us for who we are...ugly....sinful....despicable. I know I'm a sinner...i just put it in the back of my mind sometimes.

If I am really trying to seek God in my life, shouldn't I be seeking those like God? Those who will encourage me in Christ, more than usual? Those beautiful people i mentioned before? If i surround myself with beautiful people....hopefully Christ will beautify me. I have tons of Christian friends and acquaintences. But not many of these people inspire ME to change myself and seek God regularly.

As I said before, this is going to change, at least I hope. I intend to gather myself a source of life that feeds me Christ...people who inspire me. people who will help me. praying for faithfulness in this throughout this next year. i already have 1 or 2 inspirations..and they are amazing. i cannot even define what i mean by amazing because when i say amazing...i mean life-changing. Thank you Jesus.